


Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Sabriel

by irontallica666



Series: Music Series [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Related, Destiel - Freeform, Green Day - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Music, SPN - Freeform, Sabriel - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, boulevard of broken dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irontallica666/pseuds/irontallica666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean and Cas finally got together, Sam was really happy for them. But after a while, he actually gets tired of them being all good with each other, while Sam still lost everyone too and no one came back for him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Sabriel

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in somewhat canon-verse, but with some small details changed. Based on the song [Boulevard of Broken Dreams (link)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soa3gO7tL-c) by Green Day.  
> 

He can’t take it anymore. He’s tried everything, but nothing ever worked out so far. Dean’s been joking about it, but it sadly is true: all the girls Sam’s ever been with are now dead. Even his own goddamn brother left him to die. It wasn’t his fault since it was Metatron who stabbed him, but jeez, he didn’t order Dean to become a demon and leave Sam to wonder if he was actually alive or not.

The fact that Dean and Cas have gone all gooey eyes at each other doesn’t make it any better. Sure, he’s happy for them, took them for-fucking-ever to figure their shit out, but at this moment he just needs to get away. So, he takes his coat and leaves.

***

Arriving at the bar, he notices it’s silent tonight, which is nice. He doesn’t feel like socializing right now. He orders a good whiskey and sits down, ignoring the talking around him, and just lets his mind wander.   
The music changes and instead of the “good old 80’s”, as Dean would describe it, there’s a quite sad song playing over the speakers.

 _I walk a lonely road_  
_The only one that I have ever known_  
_Don’t know where it goes_  
_But its home to me and I walk alone_  
  
_I walk this empty street_  
_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams_  
_Where the city sleeps_  
_And I’m the only one and I walk alone_  
  
_I walk alone_  
_I walk alone_  
_I walk alone_  
_I walk a…_  
  
  
_My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me_  
_My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_  
_‘Till then I walk alone_  
  
Sam cringes when he realizes how accurate the song is, and orders a second whiskey while he hopes the song won’t last for long.

He has no idea how much he’d drank already when the man comes to sit next to him. He doesn’t know who it is, and he doesn’t care either, until he hears the voice. It sounds.. familiar, but he can’t place it.

“Hello there,” the man says. “How’s my favorite person today? Sulking away in a bar? Man, that’s not healthy, take it from me.” 

Sam doesn’t answer. 

“Ah we go for the ignore-everyone-way, aren’t we? Typical…” 

 _It’s not worth it,_ Sam thinks. _Just ignore him and he’ll go away. But he is drunk, and he doesn’t care anymore._

“You have no idea how it is,” he suddenly tells the man. “You don’t know me, you don’t know about the life I’m living, so how about you just shut up and let me do whatever the fuck I want to do?”

“Well,” is the reply he gets. “Then why don’t you _tell_ me about your life?”   
He wasn’t planning on it, he really wasn’t. But now he’s drunk, and there’s a quite handsome man next to him who’s willing to listen, so Sam just starts talking. He talks about his brother and that stupid lovesick look he constantly has on his face. How he’s happy for Dean and Cas but it’s gotta be enough sometime. 

He talks about Jess, how he still feels her loss, burning deep inside him, talks about his mom, who he never really knew, but still misses. He tries to leave out the weird details like how they met their mom when she was in the past and they were still 30. It’s hard to filter through the weird stuff since Sam hasn’t really talked to anyone but Dean and Cas, to whom he doesn’t have to leave out weird details.

While Sam talks and talks, the man orders him another drink, encourages him to keep talking about everything that bothers him. “I won’t run away, you can say everything,” he says. And Sam is surprised, because he was waiting for the moment it’d be enough and the kind stranger would run away.

When he’s at the end of his story, he just sighs. “I did have a good friend, y’know,” he says. “Name was Gabriel, amazing dude it was. But the last time I saw him he was being confronted by his big old brother, who is kinda an asshole,” he mentions. “Haven’t seen him since. Doesn’t matter anyways, I just need someone, you know. Someone I can love"

“You miss him a lot?” the stranger asks. “Have you tried contacting him?” That’s the one stupid thing he’s said all evening.

“Of course I have,” Sam states, sending a bitchface into the other direction. “I’m not that stupid you know. Tried contacting him a thousand times, but I think he got me blocked. Or maybe he’s just forgotten about me. I dunno.” He sighs again. “I’m hammered. Thanks for listening, man, you’re a great one,” he says and starts getting up, almost knocking over the barstool.

“Whoa there, I don’t think you’re safe to drive,” the man says. “Here, let me help you get home.”  
   
Sam’s not sure how much time has passed or how the stranger even knows where they live (the bunker is somewhat hard to find when you've never been there. Which is kind of the exact reason Dean and Sam chose to live in it), but he knows he’s inside the bunker, laying in his bed. “Wait,” he says as the man is about to leave. “Can you, maybe, I dunno, stay here? Just ‘till I fall asleep?” The man hesitates, but then walks back to the bed, sitting next to Sam and letting him rest his head against him. 

“I never asked your name,” Sam mumbles, already falling asleep.  
   
“You’ll know tomorrow, go sleep now. You’re safe,” he hears and then he’s asleep. 

“Good night, Sam,” the stranger whispers, knowing he won’t be heard. He presses a kiss against Sam’s forehead and after making sure Sam lies comfortable, he walks out of the room.

***

Sam wakes up with a headache the size of Kansas and a throat as dry as the Sahara. As he walks to the bathroom, he tries to recall what the hell happened last night. He remembers going out after being sick of Dean and Cas, who he maybe should apologize to, he adds in his head. 

Still trying to figure out what happened, he heads to the kitchen for a good cup of coffee and some painkillers. Arriving there, he hears a very, very recognizable voice.  

_No, that can’t be true._

“Gabriel?!?”

“Heya Sammy, we were already wondering when you’d wake up,” is the reply he gets, as if it’s just a normal day.

 _“GABRIEL?!?!?!_ What the _hell_ are you doing here?” He can’t believe what’s happening now. 

“I did expect a somewhat warmer welcome, but who am I to-” Gabriel gets cut off by Sam, wrapping him up in a hug that could’ve killed him if he weren’t an angel.

“No, seriously,” Sam says after a good few minutes. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well, guess who got kicked out of heaven?” He says it proudly, as if it’s some kind of joke. “Yup, that’s me!” He’s actually proud now.

“H-how did you- What, but you’re, I’m..” 

“Calm down, Sammy, I’m fine,” Gabriel reassures him. “Although you _might_ wonder how did I get here? Well, maybe you’d know if I just…” and right in front of everyone’s eyes, he turns into a stranger. 

Except for Sam, it isn’t a stranger. _“You,”_ he says. 

Laughing, Gabriel morphs back into himself. “Sorry, Sammy, but it was the only way you’d talk to me.” He sounds actually guilty now. It doesn’t work though, and Sam storms off without another word, feeling betrayed.

Meanwhile, Dean and Cas are even more confused than they were when they found Gabriel in the kitchen this morning, making pancakes for breakfast. It’s silent for a good few minutes when Dean can’t hold it in any longer. “What the _hell_ was that all about?” he asks. 

They walk to the library, sitting down and Gabriel starts telling it, how he got killed off by Lucifer, and, ironically enough, ended back up in heaven. There, he got confronted by a lot of other angels, who all had problems with him. Everyone just kind of got sick of his jokes and ways to get out of anything. Since he was killed, he didn’t have his angel radio any more, and he didn’t know how to contact Sam and Dean.

“Once I somehow got back my angel-being, I needed to know how you two were doing, nice job by the way Cassie, been waiting for you two to get together since forever! That reminds me, someone owes me some money,” he adds. “I found Sam in the bar last night, and I just felt too much of a coward to appear in my usual appearance. I didn’t think he’d appreciate me showing up so suddenly after what happened. Now I know he doesn’t.” 

Gabriel stares off into the distance for a minute, and then gets back to his old self. “Oh well, I gotta get going, I’ll check up on you two later, and maybe Sammy can forgive me. Tell him I’m very sorry and if what he told me last night is true, I’m here for him. Seeya!” and then he’s suddenly getting up, walking out the library, through the front door, and then he’s gone.  
  
“What?” Cas says. Dean nods.  
  
“Agreed. _What?!”_

Then, Sam comes running past them. He’d been in the library too, overhearing what Gabriel said. He doesn’t even see Cas and Dean, who just agree to ask what the fuck just all happened this morning later, and eat the pancakes Gabriel had left.  
  
It takes some running, but then Sam finally sees him. “Gabriel!” he yells, and when he doesn’t seem to hear him, he yells louder. “GABRIEL!”

Finally, he looks back, and Sam catches up with him. “Gabe,” he says. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know and I just-” he looks desperate. “I don’t know, I was just so disappointed, and I couldn’t believe you were here and I’m… I don't understand why you wouldn't appear to me in your natural form last night, you know?"

"Well, aside from the fact that my _actual_  natural form could literally kill you if you'd just look at it..." Gabriel tries to keep it light with a joke but he and Sam both know they really need to talk. "Let's just say that you wouldn't have told me anything of what you told the 'stranger' last night if you knew it were me." 

Sam hates to admit it, but Gabriel is right.

"Do you even have the slightest idea of how bad it was? Dean and Cas going all lovey-dovey were a constant reminder of how _you_ were not here, and how much I actually missed you. I just couldn't handle it any more, you know. I mean, I tried really hard to be happy for them, and god do they deserve it because it took them freaking years to figure their shit out. I even was happy for them at some point but there was always _something_ inside me, missing you." It was the biggest confession Sam has ever made to Gabriel, and for a few moments, neither of them talks. 

Sam lets out a shaky breath and suddenly Gabriel understands. He understands what Sam means to say, what he has been for quite some time now. He even understands why it was so easy to notice Cas and Dean falling for each other. Because he and Sam had been going through the exact same thing, except no one noticed it enough to point it out.

Then, Gabriel makes the hardest decision he ever had to make, and man, had he made some hard decisions in his life. He does like Sam, a lot. He may even love Sam, but that's not something to speak of now. Sam likes him too, but does Sam like him enough? Shutting up all the questions and voices in his head, Gabriel slowly stands on his toes, takes Sam's face in his hands and presses a soft kiss on Sam's cheek. 

And then, he waits.

At first, Sam is confused. Then, he wants to be angry at Gabriel for just kissing him. Then, he realizes Gabriel wouldn't just do it if he had no good reasons for it. At last, he notices that it actually felt pretty good. But still, they can't just do this, not while things are still broken.

"Listen," Sam says, but Gabriel interrupts him.

"I know what you want to say, and I'm gonna say right here and right now, I won't do anything you don't want. I want to be with you in any way possible, and even if you want to stay friends for a while or longer, I can be nothing more than happy. I just want to be around you, and I hope you'll be okay with it," he says. 

Sam is silent for some more time, thinking.

"Okay" he finally answers. Gabriel lets out an audible sigh of relief. Then, Sam wraps Gabriel up in another hug, a better one than this morning. One that says _I understand you and you understand me and I just want to do this and forget about everything else for as long as I can._  

Gabriel hugs back, slowly caressing Sam's back, comforting him in a way he never could before.

They stand like that till a car honks because they're still in the middle of the road.

 _My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_  
 _Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_  
 _'Til then I walk alone..._


End file.
